“We teach best what we most need to learn.” ~ Richard Bach, Illusions:The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
I am getting ready to facilitate a workshop on boundaries at the end of this month for Wholistic Woman Retreats. I became interested in leading this topic after 2016’s overnight retreat, which was based on the book “Rising Strong” by Dr. Brené Brown. During that retreat we did a very small segment on boundaries, and afterward one of our participants asked me if I’d consider expanding that topic. That was when the idea for ‘Be Clear’, my mini-retreat on boundaries, was born.
What the research shows is that boundaries and compassion go hand in hand. People who have clear boundaries ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. Their clear boundaries keep them out of resentment and as a result they tend to be more compassionate people. I believe the world could use more compassion and less resentment and if having clearer boundaries is the way then I’m all in!
Recently, I was talking to a close friend who is recovering from a major surgery. She started telling me a story about how the pastor of her church came to visit her and stayed for the entire afternoon…much longer than my friend would have liked. While she enjoyed the visit, the duration was too long and left her completely exhausted. When I asked my friend why she didn’t feel comfortable asking her pastor to leave so she could take a nap, her response was, “I didn’t want to hurt her feelings”.
I don’t know about you, but I can definitely relate to my friends experience. I too have found myself in similar situations where I didn’t feel comfortable asking for what I needed or setting a clear boundary. Why is this?!?
Is it because, like my friend, we don’t want to make the other person feel uncomfortable?
Is it because we were never taught or never got to practice how to define limits?
Is it because we don’t want to be perceived a certain way…rude, rigid, selfish, etc?
If you too aren’t as clear on your boundaries as you’d like to be, what do you think contributes to your struggle?
During ‘Be Clear’ we will be defining healthy boundaries as well as looking at the things that get in the way to our setting them. You will be asked to think of an area in your life where having clearer boundaries would be helpful and you will walk away with at least one action step that you can put implement in that area.
Setting healthy boundaries and attaching appropriate consequences takes practice. If you’d like to be clearer in your life, then please consider this your personal invitation to join me and the Wholistic Woman Retreats community on April 26. You can click here for more details.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com